I’m in Egypt and in such heavy thought that I’m hardly noticing things around me. I’ve been reading a book by Sigmund Freud titled Moses and Monotheism. And I’m wondering, didn’t we discredit and debunk Freud’s theories some time ago? Should I really take Freud seriously?
But it is a remarkable book. I read it twice. Even though I can’t put my finger on why Freud’s book has me so stymied, nevertheless, I know there’s something important for me to figure out from this manuscript. It’s a book that’s been largely forgotten; yet it’s become a catalyst for me and has ignited a fire within me. I sense that Freud has hold of something significant and he’s trying, gropingly, urgently, repetitively, to tell us what it is. But his words leave a lot unanswered.
His book seems to express his own inner quandary, too. It’s his ruminations. And it’s as if I’m investigating with him. When I read it, I sense I’m looking straight into Freud’s mind, as he seems to be on the edge of some great discovery. I can see that, and I can also see how his ideas are groundbreaking. Moses and Monotheism has me perplexed and spellbound at the same time. But I think there’s something murky and incomplete in Freud’s grappling.
Freud’s writing has spurred my own thoughts, which are now wildly percolating. They rise in bursts of insight. Moses and Akhenaton. Who were they? Who were they together? Who were they apart? Did they know each other? Was it necessary, as Freud trumpets, for them to have known one another? Or did they know only of each other’s special talents?
My thoughts turn to high religion. Can spiritual talent be handed down? What was really going on with these two very famous men? I had to know what they were trying to tell us? Better yet, what was it they were trying to show us? That’s when the epiphany hit me; when my mind moved to pictures. Theirs wasn’t just a God of words! They had a visible, tangible God. They both showed us that God is Light! I had it! Moses: the burning bush, the pillar of smoke by day and fire by night, the glowing Ark of the Covenant. Akhenaten: his obsession with the solar orb, its rays ending in tiny hands. Light. The Light. The Light of my dream, and what I believed must be the Light of the near-death experience, too. That was it! The connection was clear to me now. Akhenaton and Moses were Masters of the Light.
I had my third chapter. After days of brooding, it came flooding in, all at once, washing over me like a revelation. I felt it to the core of my being, a profound knowing. Moses and Akhenaten had been trying to show us what God looked like. It didn’t matter if they knew each other or not. High-adept religious practices might have been passed down because there was only a hundred years or so between them, and possibly less if you believed Freud. My book was coming together. For me, this insight offered up a weighty piece to the puzzle. It was an important component and would become the glue of my search—the pivotal point in my book.
Note: This isn’t the copy of Moses and Monotheism I originally brought with me to Egypt. It’s a first edition purchased much later for about $90. To find an affordable first edition of Freud’s work was thrilling and the book remains a personal treasure.
Here’s a link to buy Freud’s book: